A Love Story
YORK, Pa. – “This is the girl I want; this is the person for me. Thank God she said, ‘Yes,’” he said.
“You know, people say everyone has a soul mate. Some never find theirs, but I found mine,” she said.
They met at North East Louisiana State University during a journalism class. They sat on opposite sides of the room. She had just transferred and didn’t know many people. He wanted to get to know her – he liked her. He decided to write a feature story on her. The rest is history.
Once upon a time, Dr. Bob Carroll was just a boy writing a feature story, and the future Mrs. Hope Carroll was just the new girl in town. Unfortunately, the feature story didn’t turn out so well. Bob inevitably spelled her last name wrong and an aggravated Hope scheduled a meeting with him just to inform him of his mistake. The girl Bob he had originally been pining for rejected his proposal to work at the newspaper as a copy girl. So, he asked Hope who, not having much else to do, said, “Yes.”
“The managing editor was a match maker,” said Bob, “We had beats with the police department and fire departments around 10 o’clock and he said ‘Why don’t you take Hope with you? Show her around?’” Their first date was at a go-go club called the Dynasty. “Little did I know she didn’t drink beer. I said, ‘You’re kidding,’ and she gave me hers.”
That was June first. For the next month, they continued to work at the local newspaper and attend classes together. Hope even tutored Bob in botany.
“One area really gave me a lot of trouble – the Rr factor – cross fertilization of flies. She understood it,” said Bob. The final exam came and the first question: cross fertilization of flies. “He made a better grade on the final than I did. I was mad,” said Hope.
After dating for about a month, marriage became a more real conversation. “We talked about it, but there was no real commitment,” Hope said. “I was in the bowling class, and when it just struck me that this was the right person for me. I just left the class and went to his apartment and said, ‘Yes.’”
“I spent my last $25 for the down payment on an engagement ring. By golly, I wanted to marry her, and I didn’t want any messing around,” said Bob.
After getting engaged on July 4th, Hope had her ring by August and come December they were ready to be married. The church was booked and the plans were made. But fate had plans of its own.
“Our football team had just beaten our rivals for the first time in seven years. The president was so happy he gave us an extra day off for Thanksgiving. Hope suggested eloping. She thought I was going to say no.”
He didn’t.
He called a minister in Arkansas (it was illegal for Hope to be married in Louisiana under the age of 21) and got their best friends Bob and Judy to stand as witnesses. Hope left a note for her parents simply stating, “Gone off to get married. See you tomorrow!”
“Hope’s father worked for the sheriff’s department. All the sheriffs were looking for my car that night to put me in jail – just for fun!”
They spent their wedding night at Bob’s apartment and went to work the very next day. One of them had to quit working at the newspaper because they had a company policy against married couples working together.
“Those first couple years were tough,” said Bob. But soon enough, Bob graduated in 1967 and Hope one year later. Then, two became three as they welcomed their baby girl, Jennifer, into their lives. Sixteen months later, Bradley, their bouncing baby boy entered into the household. Hope remembers bringing each of the babies home from the hospital as one of her most cherished memories.
“Bringing them home and thinking, ‘each one of them is a part of us’— those were special times.”
For over 20 years, Bob and Hope worked together teaching journalism, public relations, and writing courses everywhere from their alma mater to Southern Indiana University. Twice, both planned on retirement, and twice, both continued to work. Until, at last, they found a home here at York building the Public Relations department. “It was supposed to be for 2-3 years. It’s been eight, and the rest is history,” said Bob.
Forty five years later, Hope and Bob still laugh as they tell stories of their lives together and what they’ve learned about each other: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
“I’ve been hunting, and I used to fish in the South. We enjoy a lot of the same things. That’s kept us close. We enjoy the same kinds of books and we’ve gotten each other into some different authors. We both worked in church, and that faith has helped out tremendously,” said Hope.
“We understand each other’s needs and problems, and we discuss them every day. Getting to know and understand each other has been the hardest part of marriage,” said Bob.
Other parts of marriage have molded and blended their skills. The most difficult being: “The C Word. Cancer. He had prostate cancer twelve years ago, and he’s had multiple myeloma for six years. To come back now and find out that he was diagnosed with an incurable cancer— it was tough,” said Hope.
However, Bob looks back on these past six years as some of his most treasured memories. “She has been the best caretaker a person could ever want. She sees changes in me before I even see them.”
While Bob remarks that some people’s spouses hear that word and walk away, the thought never crossed Hope’s mind. “She immediately asked ‘What do I need to do? What do I look for? What do I need to learn? Because multiple myeloma affects memory cells I have to keep 4 journals. She’s my fourth.”
Hope is not the only one Bob looks to for encouragement – he leans on his “Little Fella,” or rather, their grandson, Harris. “He has captured our hearts. He is what really keeps me going,”
Despite the hardships these past six years have presented, the dynamic duos are determined to remain positive. “I tell people he isn’t dying of cancer, he is living with cancer,” Hope said, “We recognize that life is not forever, but we want to make the best of the time we have together. That’s not to say anything could happen, but we don’t anticipate end times. We’re just enjoying what we have. It’s just the way that we’ve coped.
After forty five years of marriage, both have a small bit of wisdom for young couples today: “Communicate with each other, and men— look for those nonverbal cues! I’ve gotten nailed on that several times. That’s usually what it boils down to,” said Bob.
“I think you have to start out as friends and then you share your feelings and your goals and when they are similar it is so much easier to attain them,” said Hope.
While both have relished in the memories of the past – they look forward to their future together.
“I’m shooting for 50 [years of marriage]. There’s something magical about 50. I would love to reach it. I’m praying we will reach it. It’s kept us together and keeps us going.”
In a marriage that has surpassed 45 years, and a relationship that has been described by one another as loving, comfortable, and forgiving, their love story can only be described as beautifully unbelievable, as most fairytales are. And yes, they have lived happily ever after, but never, of course, without telling each other, every step of the way, how they feel:
Dear Bob,
I want to tell you how much I appreciate who you are and what you are, the things that we’ve shared, the goals that we’ve worked together to accomplish, and the father that’s you have been to the kids.
Love, Hope
Dear Hope,
How happy I am that we found each other those 45+ years ago and that you felt about me the way I did about you. I am happy you decided I was worthwhile. You’ve worked hard – we won’t have to have it hard in retirement. We have lots of years to use that money- and it was your working that really helped. I feel comfortable that when I am gone, you will be well cared for.
Love, Bob
And thank God, she said, “Yes.”
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